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jacobshutup:

u can tell im real because if i was gonna catfish id use someone hot

"I will love you if I never see you again, and I will love you if I see you every Tuesday."
-Lemony Snicket (via zubat)
"Do not call me perfect,

a lie is never a compliment.

Call me an erratic

damaged and

insecure mess.

Then tell me that you

love me for it."
-Beau Taplin || You’re a fucking wreck and I love you for it. (via afadthatlastsforever)

kayliesaurusrex:

gambleorcs:

I was trying to explain to my grandma what being bisexual meant and saying that I looked at ladies butts and she was all
"You’re not GAY everyone checks out ladies rear ends" and my sister was like "I have never wanted to look at a ladies butt"
Later my grandma called me and was like “I THINK I MIGHT BE A LITTLE GAY”

BEST GRANDMA STORY

dy1anobrien:

i don’t know why everyone makes the grim reaper out to be a bad guy i mean he’s just taking to you to the afterlife it’s not like he killed you it’s actually quite nice of him to walk you there imagine if you had to go alone

timeywimeyhobbit:

why does my body keep  producing acne why can’t you focus on more important things like growing wings or making me hot 

dont-harshmyvibe:

if you tickle me it’s either going to lead to kissing or an extreme act of violence